<Basic Life Skills Training>

Basic Life Skills Training

SUCCESSFUL LIFE SKILLS FOR CHILDREN

Character Training and Development

Over the millennia, Martial Arts techniques have been passed down from father to son and from instructor to student over and over again. In the process, systems (like Kata [forms], self-defense techniques, and one-steps, etc.) have been developed to keep the Martial Arts style pure. However, the subtler, yet infinitely more important character developmental aspects of Martial Arts have been more of a “side effect” than a deliberate, conscious, systematized effort.

Character Training and Development is a system designed to help the Martial Arts instructor develop and train for positive character traits.

This is done by systematically using metaphor and Socratic style questioning, causing the students to think and reason. Using this process, the instructor is able to guide students, even very young students, to drawing and powerful conclusions. Instructors anchor these important lessons and empower the students with alternate solutions through role-playing. We have found that students, especially young students, learn more, faster and retain answers longer by listening to a short story, answering a few well-placed questions followed by role-playing (all five minutes or less). This works better than many hours of laborious lectures.

By using the Character Training and Development teaching techniques detailed in this system, even the youngest, most inexperienced instructors can easily guide their students to live a successful, worthy life.

Character Training and Development consists of a four-month lesson plan, broken down into four blocks, with each block divided into four weekly sections. The four blocks of Character Training and development are:

1. Good Attitude – teaches benefits of having the right attitude for success.
2. Good Habits – teaches practical ways to develop self-discipline, responsibility and focus.
3. Good Self Control – teaches practical ways to control and channel emotions.
4. Good Manners – emphasizes the benefits of courtesy and respect.

Character Training and Development is scripted in such a way that any instructor, in any style of Martial Arts, can easily insert this into their classroom instruction in five minutes or less.

It is as simple as watching the video at the beginning of the month, allowing five minutes during class to huddle up the kids, and following the weekly outline. Even beginning instructors will sound like pros!

Head Instructor’s Briefing, Overview & Outline

BLOCK #1

GOOD ATTITUDE - The goal of this block is to teach the value of having a good attitude. Success in life is determined by attitude more than anything else. Attitude is contagious, is yours worth catching?

Week #1 - Having a “Whatever it Takes” Attitude
Week #2 - Having an “Attitude of Gratitude”
Week #3 - Being a Good Finder
Week #4 - Being Loyal to Those Not Present

BLOCK #2

GOOD HABITS - The goal of this block is to teach the value of having good habits. Good habits are hard to make, but easy to live with. Bad habits are easy to make, but hard to live with.

Week #1 - You don’t have to want to do it; you just have to do it (Self-Discipline)
Week #2 - Dinner before dessert/Instant gratification vs. long-term benefits
Week #3 - Always take responsibility for your actions
Week #4 - Wherever you are...be there

BLOCK #3

GOOD SELF-CONTROL - The goal of this block is to teach practical ways to handle emotions. A mighty person is one who has control over their emotions.

Week #1 - Mind Over Emotion
Week #2 - Body Over Emotion
Week #3 - Balance Over Emotion
Week #4 - Words Over Emotion

BLOCK #4

GOOD MANNERS - The goal of this manners block is to teach the importance of courtesy and respect. "You can catch more flies with honey…” When someone demonstrates good manners, everybody wins.

Week #1 - Polite Greeting
Week #2 - Showing Respect
Week #3 - Playground Manners
Week #4 - The Magic Words and How To Say Them

Having a “Whatever it Takes” Attitude

GOOD ATTITUDE (BLOCK #1) – Week 1 – Instructor’s Script

Start the lesson by gathering your students into a tight huddle and ask these three questions:

What does it mean to have a good attitude?
Why is it important to have a good attitude?
Can you give me an example of having a good attitude?

Then share the following story or lesson and ask the questions listed..

“This week we are going to talk about having a “Whatever it Takes” attitude.
Having a “Whatever it Takes” attitude means that you are willing to do whatever is necessary (as long as it is right and moral) in order to achieve the desired results.

Everything in life has a price. For example, the price for getting good grades in school is to:

Pay attention in class
Do your homework
A. Sometimes the price of getting your homework done is having to:

i. Skip your favorite TV program
ii. Stay inside doing homework while your friends play

What are some other prices you might have to pay to get your homework done?

Repeat the 2 – 3 best answers and say:
Wow! Now that’s a “Whatever it Takes” attitude! Good job!

One of the most important parts of becoming a Black Belt is that it teaches us how to be successful in life. A Black Belt is a white belt that never gave up. Getting your Black Belt is having a “Whatever it Takes” attitude. For example, Black Belts didn’t just come to class when they felt like it – they came to class regularly – especially when they didn’t feel like. Once they achieve their Black Belt, they can use that “Whatever it Takes” attitude to accomplish anything.

What would you like to accomplish:

In Martial Arts?
In sports?
In school?
In life, what would like to become?
a. What are you willing to do to get there?

Having a “Whatever it Takes” attitude is the first step in accomplishing great things!

Having an “Attitude of Gratitude”

GOOD ATTITUDE (BLOCK #1) – Week 2 – Instructor’s Script

Start the lesson by gathering your students into a tight huddle and ask these three questions:

• What does it mean to have a good attitude?
• Why is it important to have a good attitude?
• Can you give me an example of having a good attitude?

Then share the following story or lesson and ask the questions listed.

This week we are going to talk about having an attitude of gratitude.
Once there were two kids. One of them spent a lot of time thinking about things that made him sad. The other spent a lot of time thinking about things that made him smile.

Which one is the happiest?
Which one would you like to have as a friend?

Poor is the person who spends a lot of time thinking about the things that aren’t right, or thinking about the things that they want, but don’t have.

Wealthy is the person who spends a lot of time having an “Attitude of Gratitude.”

Having an “Attitude of Gratitude” means that you think about whatever is lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy. It is taking time to appreciate your life and all the things you have.

What are you grateful for in life?

(Listen to three or four answers - repeating as necessary.)

For the next week, every morning when you first wake up, I’m going to challenge you to think of five things that you are grateful for.

Conclude this huddle discussion by saying: Repeat after me “I have an attitude of gratitude!”

GOOD ATTITUDE (BLOCK #1) – Week 3 – Instructor’s Script

Start the lesson by gathering your students into a tight huddle and ask these three questions:

• What does it mean to have a good attitude?
• Why is it important to have a good attitude?
• Can you give me an example of having a good attitude?

Then share the following story or lesson and ask the questions listed.

This week we are going to talk about being a good finder.
You’ll find either good or bad in everyone – it just depends what you are looking for.

Everyone quickly look around the room. I want you to find and memorize everything that is Red. Quick, quick. Ok, everyone look forward and close your eyes tightly. Are your eyes closed tightly? Good. Ok, keeping your eyes closed, who can tell me everything that is blue? (Pause for a few seconds and let it sink in). Ok, open your eyes.

Why do you think it was easier to remember the red? Both colors were there!
(Expect answers like “I wasn’t looking for blue” or “Because I was only looking for red”.)

Your mind works real hard at what you tell it to do. You can tell it to look for the bad or the good – it depends on what you want to see.

Being a good finder means that you have to look for the good in all the people in your life and in all situations. Sometimes this is not easy. It’s hard to look for the good in someone you don’t like or someone that is different or mean to you. If you do it, however, you will find a friend in just about everyone. It’s hard to see the good in a situation when something bad happens. If you do this, however, you will learn to be solution-oriented. That means you will become a more optimistic person.

Let’s try it. I’ll say a negative statement and then you help me to find the good.

Example #1 - “School is hard and I always have a lot of homework.”
Possible Response - “Boy, you sure are going to get smart.”

Example #2 - “I broke my right arm and now I can’t dribble my basketball.”
Possible Response - “Now is a great time to learn to dribble with your left hand.”

For the next week, every morning when you first wake up, I challenge you to think of five things that you are proud of, happy about, or excited for.

Constantly be a good finder. Whatever happens, try to find the good part by asking yourself, “What’s good about this?" or “How can I benefit from this?”

Being Loyal to Those Not Present

GOOD ATTITUDE (BLOCK #1) – Week 4 – Instructor’s Script

Start the lesson by gathering your students into a tight huddle and ask these three questions:

• What does it mean to have a good attitude?
• Why is it important to have a good attitude?
• Can you give me an example of having a good attitude?

Then share the following story and lesson and ask the questions listed.

This week we are going to talk about being loyal to those who are not around us.
Loyalty is one of the most important qualities we can have. It means being true to your family, friends and others, even when they are not present. Loyalty means to never speak badly about someone, because it is the wrong thing to do and it will certainly get back to the person you are talking about.

Once there were two kids. The first one always talked about what she didn’t like about other people when they were not around. Her name was Beth. Let’s pretend that one day, you and Beth were talking and she was telling you everything wrong about her friend, Janet. When Janet saw the two of you talking she came up to you. Immediately, Beth started talking bad about Billy.

Is Beth loyal to those not around her?
When you are not around Beth – do you think she talks good or bad about you?
Why? Can she be trusted in other areas of life? Why?

Why is loyalty important?
You can demonstrate loyalty by only talking good about people behind their back. You can also demonstrate loyalty by not letting others speak badly about others around you.

For example, let’s pretend that someone told you that they think, “ Sherman wears goofy clothes.” Or that “He is a real nerd.”

You could say:

“I’m sure he has a good reason for wearing that outfit and I think he is O.K.” or,
“Maybe he is just a little different from you and I – I’ll bet you he’s smart” or
“I would appreciate it if you would stop bad mouthing him. He doesn’t deserve it”.

Know that if one of your friends talks bad about another friend to you, that he also probably talks bad about you when you’re not around. Which gives you a choice – either help your friend to develop positive character skills like loyalty or choose different friends.

This week make a real effort to practice loyalty.

GOOD HABITS - Block #2 – Instructor’s Instructions

The goal of this block is to teach the value of having good habits. The theme of this block is “Good habits are hard to make, but easy to live with. Bad habits are easy to make, but hard to live with.”

It takes a conscious, deliberate effort to develop good habits. It is hard to develop self-discipline. It is hard to stay focused and not get sidetracked. It takes courage to always be responsible for your actions. It takes effort to learn to be non-judgmental. But if you can develop these habits, life will be a whole lot easier, more fun and more rewarding.

On the other hand, it is easy to be lazy and sloppy and not try hard. In the long run, these bad habits will cost you a great life. In this cycle, you will be teaching your students some strategies that will help them develop good habits.

For the next four weeks, always start the lessons with these three questions:

What does it mean to have good habits?
Why is it important to have good habits?
Can you give me an example of having good habits?

Then follow the appropriate weeks Character Development & Training lesson.

Students, especially young students, learn more, faster and retain answers longer by listening to a short story or lesson, then answering a few well-placed questions, followed by role-playing (all taking five minutes or less). When ever you ask a question be sure to give the students time to answer.

Therefore, it is really important that you solicit answers and get feedback from your students. You might have to ask the question again in order to draw out the answer you want. Remember the important part it isn’t so much the lecture, as it is getting your students to reason through the problem presented until they draw the conclusion you want.

When a student gives you an incorrect or wrong answer, keep your response positive . You might say “good try” or “almost” or “you’re getting close”. If we make our students feel self-conscious or “dumb” they will stop participating and this teaching method becomes ineffective.

For the next four weeks, several times during each class, incorporate a success chant. At first you’ll have to say the whole chant. As the students learn it, you say the first half and have them repeat the last half. You can do the chant during stretching, or use it as a pattern interrupt (snap them to attention stance and then say the success chant.) The goal is to imprint the success chant in such a way that they can draw upon it for strength and direction outside of Martial Arts classes. The success chant for the next four weeks is:

“Good habits are hard to make, but easy to live with. Bad habits are easy to make, but hard to live with.”

Self-Discipline

GOOD HABITS (Block #2) – Week 1 – Instructor’s Script
“You Don’t Have To Want To Do It, You Just Have To Do It”.

Start the lesson by gathering your students into a tight huddle and ask these three questions:

What does it mean to have good habits?
Why is it important to have good habits?
Can you give me an example of having good habits?

Then share the following story or lesson and ask the questions listed.

This week we are going to talk about having self-discipline.
Having self-discipline is not easy. It means doing what you should be doing, even if you don't feel like it. Remember, a self-disciplined person knows that they don’t have to want to do it – but they do it anyway.

Once there were two kids. Neither one of them wanted to do their homework – they both wanted to go out and play. The first one decided that he shouldn’t have to do his homework if he didn’t want to and went out to play. The second, thought to himself, “The sooner I get it done the sooner I can play.”

Which child has Self-Discipline?
Which child gets better grades?
Which child’s parents are the proudest of them?

How many of you have done your homework or your chores even though you didn’t want to? Good for you!! (Praise the ones who raise their hands.)

Let me ask you another question - Do you think that people that don’t do their homework or their chores when they are supposed to, know that they should do it?

Of course they do. Someone that doesn’t have self-discipline knows what they are supposed to do, they just don’t do it. They have weak self-discipline.

It only takes 21 days to develop a good habit. What good habit would you like to develop? Are you willing to use self-discipline for 21 days?

Please stand up and find three fellow classmates and tell them what you are going to do.

Gather the class back together and say:
Remember, someone who has self-discipline knows what to do and does it.”

Dinner Before Dessert

GOOD HABITS (BLOCK #2) – Week 2 – Instructor’s Script

Start the lesson by gathering your students into a tight huddle and ask these three questions:

What does it mean to have good habits?
Why is it important to have good habits?
Can you give me an example of having good habits?

Then share the following story or lesson and ask the questions listed.

This week we are going to talk about doing the important things first.

Dinner Before Dessert - Who knows what that means? In response to answers they give you say) In other words do the important things first and the fun things later.

Let me tell you a story. Once there were two kids. The first one would always eat her desert first, and was then too full to eat her dinner. The second child ate dinner first.
Which child developed the strongest muscles?
Which child had the strongest teeth?

Once there were two different kids. They were supposed to clean their room before dinner and they had enough time to both clean their room and play. The first child decided to play first and clean latter. The second decided to clean first and play latter.

Which child kept worrying about getting home in time to clean the room before dinner (he didn’t want mom to get mad at him)?

Which child had more fun while playing?

“Dinner Before Dessert” means that you do what you should do first, and then do what you really want to do.

Successful kids grow up to be successful adults. If you can develop this habit, you will carry it with you for life.

So, the next time you find yourself tempted to skip over something that needs to be done for something more fun, say out loud, "Dinner before Dessert,” and then get busy. You will never regret it.

Everybody repeat after me “Dinner before Dessert.”

Taking Responsibility

GOOD HABITS (BLOCK #2) – Week 3 – Instructor’s Script

Start the lesson by gathering your students into a tight huddle and ask these three questions:

What does it mean to have good habits?
Why is it important to have good habits?
Can you give me an example of having good habits?

Then share the following story or lesson and ask the questions listed.

This week we are going to talk about always taking Responsibility For Your Actions.

Once there were two kids and you were one of them – we’ll call the other one Tom. Now you and Tom were playing together and Tom’s mom came over and started to scold him for not getting his chores done. Tom quickly pointed at you and said that you had begged him to play.
Was Tom trying to blame you for him not getting his chores done?
Was Tom being honest?
Were Tom’s actions like those of a responsible adult or a little kid?

Instead of trying to blame you, he said, “Thanks for reminding me mom. I’ll get right on that,” as he left for home?

What would you think of him then?

Do you know someone who always make excuses for themselves or blames others for their actions? With habits like those, it is hard to ever accomplish anything.

The day you take responsibility for your actions, good or bad, is the day you start to become successful. The next time something goes wrong, don’t look for excuses or blame others. Think about what you can do to make it better and how you can avoid having it happen again.

Let’s try it. I’ll give you some examples and you take responsibility.

Example #1 – You forgot to do your homework and are watching your favorite TV program when your mom says, “Honey did you get all your homework done?” What would a responsible person say and do?

Possible Response – “Thanks for reminding me, I’ll do it now,” as you turn off the TV.

Example #2 – Your mom finds the plate you accidentally broke while playing with the dog and says in a real mad voice, “Who broke my plate?” What would a responsible person say and do?

Possible Response – “I did it while I was playing with the dog, I’m sorry.”

Everyone repeat after me, “I am responsible for my actions!”

Wherever You Are…Be There

GOOD HABITS (BLOCK #2) – Week 4 – Instructor’s Script

Start the lesson by gathering your students into a tight huddle and ask these three questions:

What does it mean to have good habits?
Why is it important to have good habits?
Can you give me an example of having good habits?

Then share the following story or lesson and ask the questions listed.

This week we are going to talk about being focused. “Wherever you are...be there.” This means you are “present-focused” and not easily distracted.

Have any of you ever caught yourself daydreaming in the middle of school? In the outfield when you were playing baseball? During Martial Arts class? It happens to everyone on occasion. A certain amount of daydreaming is normal – even necessary except when you are supposed to be doing something else. Then it’s a bad habit.

Everybody say, “Wherever you are...be there.” This means you are “present-focused” and not easily distracted. We can develop this habit by practicing the three rules of concentration.

Everybody: Point at your eyes and say, “Focus your Eyes.”
Point at your head and say, “Focus your Mind.”
Point at your chest and say, “Focus your Body.”

The next time you feel distracted, remember to focus your eyes. Focus your mind and focus your body by sitting up or standing straight and taking a deep breath. Then it’s easier to focus on what the teacher is saying, or on your homework or other activities.

Let’s practice-

Question - So what should we be thinking about during math?
Answer – Math!

Question - What should we be thinking about during Martial Arts class?
Answer - Martial Arts!

Question - What should we be thinking about when we are playing with our friends?
Answer – Playing!

Wherever You Are...Be There by focusing your:
(point to your eyes and let the kids say) “Focus your eyes”.
(point to your head and let the kids say) “Focus your mind”.
(point to your chest and let the kids say) “Focus your body”.

GOOD SELF-CONTROL -Block #3 - Instructors Instructions

GOOD SELF CONTROL - A mighty person is one who has control over their emotions

Who is a mighty person? One who has control over their emotions. Self-control is one of those things that is easy to talk about, but hard to demonstrate. The goal of this block is to teach kids practical ways to handle their emotions.

For the next four weeks, always start the lessons with these three questions:

What does it mean to have self-control?
Why is it important to have self-control?
Can you give me an example of having self-control?

Then follow the appropriate week’s Character Development & Training lesson.

A mighty person is one who has control over their emotions.

Mind Over Emotion

GOOD SELF-CONTROL (BLOCK #3) – Week 1 –
Instructor’s Script

Start the lesson by gathering your students into a tight huddle and ask these three questions:

What does it mean to have self-control?
Why is it important to have self-control?
Can you give me an example of having self-control?

Then share the following story or lesson and ask the questions listed.

This week we are going to talk about what we can do with our mind when we become angry or afraid?

Is anger good or bad?
It depends on if you control it or it controls you.

Is being afraid good or bad?
Sometime it is good; sometimes it is bad, depending on the situation.

Fear and Anger are two emotions that sometimes get us into trouble if we let them run wild and don’t control them. On the other hand, these two emotions can greatly benefit us if we use them the right way.

Can you think of a way that fear can help you? (Let the kids participate in the discussion and conclude it by saying fear keeps you from doing foolish things like running across a busy street, climbing a tree on a windy day, or jumping off a cliff.

Can you think of a way that anger can help you? Let the kids participate in the discussion and conclude it by saying anger can get you to take action): “Darn it, I can’t stand this dirty room, I’m going to clean it right now.”… “This report card makes me mad, I am going to study harder.”

Some things we can do to improve our self-control are:
View poor self-control in yourself and others as a sign of weakness. If you get into a habit of this, you will see how people who get overly emotional usually make bad decisions compared to someone who responds calmly. For example, do you think that another child is mature or childish when he looses control and has a temper tantrum?

“Stop the monster when it’s young.” The next time that you feel you are starting to lose your temper, stop whatever you are thinking about and try to view things from someone else's viewpoint.

Example #1 - Your friend just took a toy that you were playing with - right out of your hand!

Possible Response - Before you yell at him, think to yourself, “That toy isn’t worth fighting over. I’ll just calmly ask him to give it back and remind him to ask first next time.”

Body Over Emotion

GOOD SELF-CONTROL (BLOCK #3) – Week 2 – Instructor’s Script

Start the lesson by gathering your students into a tight huddle and ask these three questions:

What does it mean to have self-control?
Why is it important to have self-control?
Can you give me an example of having self-control?

Then share the following story or lesson and ask the questions listed.

This week we are going to talk about what can we do with our body, when we become angry or afraid, to make us feel better?

Have you ever gotten mad at your mom or dad, or sister or brother, or friend and said or did something you regretted later on? We all have. Chances are, when we get angry we let our emotions get the best of us. Remember, there are two things a Martial Artist never does when they are angry. They never speak out of anger and they never strike out of anger.

Repeat after me, “Never speak out of anger and never strike out of anger.”

So, what can we do the next time we get angry to keep ourselves from doing something we will regret later?

First off, let us see how someone stands when they are angry (have a child demonstrate to the rest of the class -- coach them by saying) ...usually their shoulders are shrugged, their head is forward, and they are scowling. How does someone that is angry breathe? Usually in quick, shallow breaths.

Now let’s see how someone stands when they are calm and confident... (have a different child demonstrate to the rest of the class -- coach them by saying) usually their shoulders are back, their head is up, and they have a slight smile on their face.

Next time you find yourself angry, bring you shoulders back, lift your chin up, smile, and take ten long, slow, deep breaths while saying “Relax” to yourself. It is almost impossible to stay mad when you stand and breathe in this fashion.

Let’s practice: Have everyone get up and practice going from mad to confident.

Balance Over Emotion

GOOD SELF-CONTROL (BLOCK #3) – Week 3 – Instructor’s Script

Start the lesson by gathering your students into a tight huddle and ask these three questions:

What does it mean to have self-control?
Why is it important to have self-control?
Can you give me an example of having self-control?

Then share the following story or lesson and ask the questions listed.

This week we are going to talk about ways to keep from getting in a bad mood. There is an old saying “Concentrate On Your Upset, Lose Your Balance. Concentrate On Your Balance, Lose Your Upset.”

Did you know that it is nearly impossible to be upset and keep your balance while standing on one foot?

Let’s try it!

Pretend you’re mad and then stand on one foot.

Now forget about being mad; only concentrate on balancing.

Which way could you stay balanced on one foot longer? Why?

What will happen is you will either quickly lose your balance and have to put your foot down, or you will concentrate on balancing on one foot and temporarily forget what you were upset about.

The next time you find yourself getting upset, try picking one foot up off the ground and balancing yourself. This won’t instantly change your mood, but it will help you change your focus until the upset has passed.

Words Over Emotion

GOOD SELF-CONTROL (BLOCK #3) – Week 4 – Instructor’s Script

Start the lesson by gathering your students into a tight huddle and ask these three questions:

What does it mean to have self-control?
Why is it important to have self-control?
Can you give me an example of having self-control?

Then share the following story or lesson and ask the questions listed.

This week we are going to talk about how to use our words to change our emotions. We call this ‘Transformational Vocabulary’ and it’s about using words to make our life richer and more powerful.

When we are angry, we tend to use angry words. Using angry words usually makes us, and those around us, even angrier. Which only makes things worse.

Most of the time we can change the way we feel by changing the words we use. When we do this it is called “Transformational Vocabulary” and it is very useful in helping us control our emotions.

You use Transformational Vocabulary by replacing strong, negative words and phrases with words that express a more positive emotion. What you say and how you say it can actually take you from being “extremely mad” to a “little irritated.” It works because what we say actually helps determine how we feel.

For example, you could say: “I am super mad at my brother,” or “I am a little annoyed with my brother.” Which way would it make it easier to gain control of your emotions?

What would happen if you said that you were:

Slightly Annoyed instead of Mad - would it make you happier or sadder?
A Little Irritated instead of Ticked Off - would it make you happier or sadder?
Disappointed instead of Heartbroken - would it make you happier or sadder?
Fascinated instead of Frustrated - would it make you happier or sadder?

You can also make Neutral or Positive Words even Stronger
What would happen if you said that you were:

Great instead of Okay - would it make you happier or sadder?
Awesome instead of Pretty Good - would it make you happier or sadder?
Getting Better instead of Alright - would it make you happier or sadder?

This week I want you to concentrate on what you say and how you say it. Try to find a happier, stronger, richer way to express your emotions. Watch what it does to your and other people’s emotions

GOOD MANNERS - Block #4 – Instructor’s Instructions

When someone demonstrates good manners, everybody wins.

The purpose of this manners block is to teach the ABC’s of proper protocol, politeness, courtesy and respect. Being polite is not only the right thing to do, but it is an important ingredient to success and happiness. With good manners, great first impressions are made, doors are opened, and favors are given. As the old phrase says, "You can catch more flies with honey…”

We all know the value of good manners. Rarely, however, are manners taught in a specific format. Even the most well-intentioned parent generally teaches manners as a second thought.

For the next four weeks, always start the lessons with these three questions:

What does it mean to have good manners?
Why is it important for you to show good manners?
What is a good example of good manners?

Then follow the appropriate week’s Character Development & Training lesson.

Winners Have Good Manners

Polite Greeting

GOOD MANNERS (BLOCK #4) – Week 1 – Instructor’s Script

Start the lesson by gathering your students into a tight huddle and ask these three questions:

What does it mean to have good manners?
Why is it important to have good manners?
Can you give me an example of having good manners?

Then share the following story or lesson and ask the questions listed.

This week we are going to talk about the value of a polite greeting. It was once said, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.”

Often, the first impression is made when we are being introduced or are introducing ourselves to someone. Therefore, it is very important to deliberately go out of our way to make our greeting polite. Even if we have met them before, a polite greeting sets the tone for this meeting.

Do you want other people’s impression of you to be:

“That kid is a brat”?
“That kid is a wimp”?
“That kid is a liar and a cheat”?

A polite greeting is important, not only because it shows good manners, but when you look someone in the eye, give them a firm (but not too tight) hand shake and confidently say your name, your behavior says “I’m a nice, honest, trustworthy and confident person, and don’t pick on me.”

Let’s get two volunteers up to demonstrate. One will demonstrate a polite greeting and the other will demonstrate a not-so-polite greeting.

(After the demo, have everyone demonstrate a polite greeting on each other. Mix it up with an attention stance to make it an enjoyable drill. )

So let’s practice how to do a polite greeting. Remember to look them straight in the eye, give them a firm handshake, and confidently say. “Hi my name is ____________.”

(For fun, you can have them introduce themselves as their favorite character, such as, “Hi, I’m Batman, or, “Hello, I’m Captain Crunch”, etc.)

This week go out of your way to practice your polite greeting every chance you get. In fact, try to be the first one to offer your hand for a handshake!

Showing Respect

GOOD MANNERS (BLOCK #4) – Week 2 – Instructor’s Script

Start the lesson by gathering your students into a tight huddle and ask these three questions:

What does it mean to have good manners?
Why is it important to have good manners?
Can you give me an example of having good manners?

Then share the following story or lesson and ask the questions listed.

This week we are going to talk about showing respect. Once there was a famous Martial Arts Grandmaster who noticed that one of his Black Belt students wasn’t showing respect to his teachers or classmates. So he asked the student why he wasn’t showing respect. The student said, “But I do have a lot of respect for my teachers and fellow students, only it’s on the inside of me, therefore I shouldn’t have to show it on the outside.” Then the Grandmaster told the student to close his eyes and hold his arms out to the side, and he replaced the student’s Black Belt with a white belt - and told him to open his eyes.

When the student looked down to the white belt on his waist he was shocked and almost started to cry. Then he said, “Grandmaster, I have worked so hard for the Black Belt and now you put a white belt on me - why?”

The Grandmaster asked the student, “Are you still a Black Belt on the inside?” The student said, “Yes”. Then the Grandmaster said, “Then it shouldn’t matter what is on the outside” and walked away.

What do you think the student learned? (Get feedback) Is showing respect on the outside important? Why?

In Martial Arts, we believe that it is not enough to have respect for people, we need to SHOW respect. Showing respect to people is a way of demonstrating good manners.

To whom do you show respect first?

Of course, we need to have self-respect, but after that, on top of our list should be our parents.

How can we show respect towards parents? Obey cheerfully. This means do what they ask you to do with a smile on your face right away. Is this easy? Of course not, but we should try to do it anyway.

Here are some examples of showing respect to parents:

When asked by your mother to do a chore, respond, “Yes Mom, I’ll be glad to.” Then do it! (Role-play being a mom asking about a chore and the kids saying, “Yes Mom, I’ll be glad to.”)
If your Dad asks you to help with the lawn, respond, “Why certainly Dad, I’ll get right on it.” Then do it! (Role-play being a dad asking about a chore & the kids saying, “Yes Dad, I’ll get right on it.”)

Who else should you show respect to?

Teachers
Grandparents
Friends
Sisters and Brothers, etc.

By the way, the Grandmaster gave the student his Black Belt back at the end of the class. This week lets show respect on the outside by our good manners.

Playground Manners

GOOD MANNERS (BLOCK #4) – Week 3 – Instructor’s Script

Start the lesson by gathering your students into a tight huddle and ask these three questions:

What does it mean to have good manners?
Why is it important to have good manners?
Can you give me an example of having good manners?

Then share the following story or lesson and ask the questions listed.

This week we are going to talk about being a good, strong on the inside leader.
At recess or on the playground are you a leader or a follower? Are you a good guy or a mean person?

It takes someone who is strong on the inside to share or let others go first. It is a good leader who gives praise for a good effort, or who only says nice things about others. It is a mean person who talks bad, puts others down, or teases others when they mess up.

Once there were two kids. The first one always pushed to be the first one in line, he grabbed toys away from other kids, and didn’t share well. To make matters worse, he was always the first to laugh when someone else messed up. The second kid is good at sharing and would always invite someone who was left out to play in the game. He was quick to say, “Good try, I’m sure you’ll do better next time” when some one messed up.

Which one of these kids was the strongest on the inside? Why?
Which one of these kids would you like to be your friend?
Which one of these kids had more friends? Why?
At the end of the day, which one had more fun? Why?

Having good manners when playing with other children might be hard at first, but in the long run it brings you more friends and fun.

When these kids grow up and become adults, how do you want them to remember you, as someone who was selfish and mean, or as a strong on the inside leader?

Let’s role-play asking some one to join us (break your class into groups of 3 or 4), then pretend that one person is left out. Now, take turns inviting that person into your group.

Let’s role-play telling someone “good try” when they mess up (break your class into groups of 3 or 4), then pretend that one person just struck out in baseball. Now, take turns telling that person “good try” or “You’ll get it next time.”

This week, let’s practice being a good, strong-on-the-inside leader.

Magic Words & How to Say Them

GOOD MANNERS (BLOCK #4) – Week 4 – Instructor’s Script

Start the lesson by gathering your students into a tight huddle and ask these three questions:

What does it mean to have good manners?
Why is it important to have good manners?
Can you give me an example of having good manners?

Then share the following story or lesson and ask the questions listed.

This week we are going to talk about magic words and how to say them. The magic words of good manners are: Please, Thank You, May I, Excuse Me, etc. Having good manners isn’t just about using the right words. It is about saying them in the right way. More important than what you say is how you say it.

When I was a kid and my mom called my name, I could tell if she was mad or not. If she said ( insert your name ) using a happy voice, was she in a good mood or a bad mood? If she said ( insert your name ) using an angry voice, was she in a good mood or a bad mood?

What made it sound different is what we call “tonality.” It has to do with how we use our voice to change the meaning of a word.

Let’s try saying Please, Thank you, and Excuse Me, in these different ways:

Like you are mad
Like you are teasing
Like you are afraid
Like you are polite and friendly

Which one sounds better?

Which way would you like someone to talk to you?

Remember to always use the right tonality using the magic words.